I Traded My Michael Kors For a Baby Wrap.

This is me nearly exactly 10 months before I found out I was pregnant. I had known hubby for 6 weeks when he flew to Hawaii on Christmas Eve to meet my mom and I for a 5 day vacation. For me, this moment, this picture, this outfit, THESE SHOES, symbolize an era: my 20s. I found this dress and these shoes at the Macys in Waikiki. I had dropped about 20 pounds and 2 sizes earlier that year when my ex and I split and I hadn’t felt this sexy since I was about 21 years old... and haven’t really again since. The shoes are Michael Kors suede with about a 4” heel. I was lucky I didn’t break my neck. This week, I sold these shoes, along with a few others, online in a local bidding swap. Why you ask? To fund new wraps. I traded my Michael Kors for a baby wrap.

So, let this post and these pictures serve as a before and after. There’s no doubt in my mind which brings me more happiness. Not a superficial happiness of looking in the mirror and liking the image that looks back; but a deep rooted happiness that comes from learning a new skill as a mother that allows me to bond closer with my child. My 20s are nearly gone and I had a lot of beautiful shoes, but I have no problem with my hallway shoe closet slowly becoming a closet full of items like carriers, wraps and other devices.

Introducing... Flashback Fridays!!

First of all, please accept my apologies for lack of posting this week. I am finding it difficult to post during the week since returning to work from holidays AND I got a new job this week!! Yah! I’m still teaching, but I now have 2 Learning Assistance jobs instead of 4 smaller jobs. Very exciting! My proposal to help keep posts coming during the workweek is to have Words-Not-Needed Wednesdays (not too original, I know) and then Flashback Fridays!! I have a lot of great stories to share from life before Mr. R came along!

This month marks 5 years since my grandmother passed. She was and always will be one of my favourite people in life and one of the most influential people in my life. We were tight... like BFFs tight. Grandma Pugh (pronounced “pew”) took care of me during the day from 6 months of age until I was able to drive myself to school and had a car at age 17 and grade 11. It was as we knew her health was failing that I had my first panic attack, and first really came to terms with losing someone very close to your heart.

When it came time to decide what to do with her remains, her will didn’t exactly specify. I suggested we leave half her ashes here in Canada, and took the other half back to South Wales to be with her family and near her favourite siblings. My mom wasn’t up for the trip, and I’m an only child (I have a half brother and a half sister from my dad’s previous marriage, but more on that later), so my best friend came with me.

After arriving in London, we sought out a train to take us to Swansea. I’m not sure why I selected Swansea, about an hour away from Cardiff, the capitol of Wales, but for some reason, the name stuck in my head and I knew it had a beach and that I had been there with my grandmother. The train was packed because the Six Nations Rugby Cup was happening in Cardiff that day and for the first time in decades, Wales won! We watched them win in a crowded pub while eating fish and chips (grandma’s favourite). The next morning, on Saturday, March 15th 2008, we set out to the beach with the urn and a camera. This is what my BFF captured:

Walking out to the water

The urn on the beach... so serene. 

Getting ready...

Uhh... nobody told me ashes came in a zap strapped bag... no scissors in sight.

This is the moment when my BFF put her camera down and reached deep in the urn to empty the contents in to the container so that I could continue to gracefully spread the ashes like they do in the movies, from the urn, not a zap strapped baggie...

And ready to proceed! Hallelujah!!

It was at this moment that my BFF learned there was an onshore breeze...

And I gracefully spread the ashes, not in a zap strapped bag, along the beach, while accounting for the breeze.

Until she was one with her surroundings.

All Mat Leaves Must Come to an End

I must start this post by acknowledging how grateful I am to have 12 months off paid at 55% of my wage and recognize that this is another thing we often take for granted in Canada, along with our healthcare. However, all good things must come to an end. Because R was born June 30th, the last day of the school year in 2011, I actually had 12 months off partially paid and then 2 additional months off unpaid. In September, I returned to work full time. For the first 2 months, a friend looked after R, but it quickly became clear that she was overwhelmed with complete home renovations and her own family. We also worried that R wasn’t getting to socialize much with children his own age. So the hunt for childcare began.

Hunting for childcare can be stressful for any parents, but for those who have worked in the field of child care and development, this task can be extra difficult. I started working for Children’s and Youth Services in a neighbouring community at age 15 until  received my Bachelor of Education in December 2006 and starting my teaching career. In June 2011, months before R was born, I received my Masters of Science in Educational Leadership and Administration and just this fall completed coursework to certify me in Level B Psychology testing and a Learning Support Teacher. So I guess I am what one would consider “an expert” in the field of children and their development. This can make me a very difficult parent to deal with: believe me, I know, I have dealt with parents like myself, throughout my career.

Hubby and I made a list of things we wanted out of childcare and then I began looking around. We hoped for the following:
-a low ratio of 4 children to 1 adult for the infant stage
-a cloth diaper friendly provider
-a flexible nap schedule that would cater to our “non sleeper”
-a provider that would encourage the use of good communication, including sign language
-a provider that would facilitate healthy social development
-all of this for $900/mo or under to fit our budget.

We quickly learned that most the local “in home” providers were ruled out by our ratio requirement as they usually had a 7:1 ratio. Many providers were also ruled out by our cloth diaper requirement AND our flexible nap schedule. Most providers require that the child arrive scheduled to when they put all the children down for naps at the same time. This is not our Mr. R. Then, in one week, I had two separate colleagues recommend Heritage Park Childcare Centre. I went to visit the centre one day after work, when a friend was watching R. I was quickly greeted by friendly, happy little toddlers when I went in to have a look. There were plenty of staff with my desired four to one ratio and it was clear that the children were being encouraged to interact and socialize appropriately. I was shocked to learn that not only were they ready to learn all about cloth diapers and use sign language, but they would also put Mr. R down whenever he needed and cuddle him in a rocking chair with his bottle of goat milk before putting him in the crib. WINNING!!

Heritage Park Childcare Centre opened in the 1980’s in a church basement before moving to its current building that opened alongside Heritage Park Secondary, and is owned by the School District (my employer). It boasts an open door policy, with drop in at any time, and welcomes subsidy and community supports. Personally, I LOVE that parents who are still attending the high school across the street, can afford the same care that I can, as a full time working adult. It is also operated as the last non-profit option for childcare in our community. This was really cool. We actually had to join the Mission Daycare Society, before R could attend. This really fits our parenting philosophy and my philosophy as a professional of it taking a “village” or a “community to raise a child.”

Needless to say, Mr R LOVES it there!! He rarely cries when mama leaves for work, and keep in mind that he is an attached lil guy, and jumps in to the open arms of the staff. I get communications daily about everything from his naps and eating habits, to his B.M.s and activities from the day. I encourage any parents who are shopping around for childcare to make a list of what you are looking for and then search for a provider that can cater to what YOU and YOUR CHILD NEEDS and not the other way ‘round. We certainly found that. You can also access Child Care Resource Centres in your communities.

**For anyone interested, there is still space at Heritage Park Child Care Centre if you want your little one to join Mr. R for some fun!! Call Lorraine at 604-826-3080**

*Tips for choosing a daycare*

Bustin’ Rhymes and Learning to (w)Rap

So I recently complained in an online group that my trusty Ergo has started hurting my back. My baby weighs over 26 lbs now and I find that no matter how I adjust it, I get upper back pain after about 20 minutes. We had some good times, but I decided that it was time to start exploring other baby wearing options. I don’t consider myself an attachment parent, per say, but seeing how R has been sick lately and wants to be held at all times, my buff lady pipes need a break.

One of my fav. pics of R in the Ergo in Hawaii

When I posed the question online in my favourite group of baby wearing/cloth diapering/crunchy mamas, the suggestions seemed to be split between trying another soft structured carrier made for toddlers, and trying a woven wrap. I was well aware of the large community of mamas who use woven wraps. I always admired their ability to attach their babies to their bodies like gymnasts and somehow not drop them. It was then that an internet friend offered to lend me two of her woven wraps.

She shipped a size 7 wrap and a short size 5 wrap to my US address and I made a trip across the border to pick them up. The look on the border guard’s face when I told him the value of the wraps and that someone who I’ve never met in person (he stressed this fact), was willing to “lend” them to me, was priceless. Once home with the wraps, I immediately joined all the baby wearing Facebook groups I could fine and started searching for videos on youtube.

Day 2, Attempt #3

The first carry I decided to attempt was a Ruck. It was the simplest in my opinion, and I could do it with the shorter wrap... which seemed long enough to me! For my first attempt, I didn’t get the “top rail,” or top of the wrap tight enough and R decided to lean back at the wrong time. He ended up complete inverted, with his head hanging down by the back of my knees. From there, I gently dropped him on his head. No judgement here, I assure you it was more like setting him down on his head, and he didn’t seem to mind, so we laugh about it now. For attempt number two, I went to tie the final knot and realized that the ends were uneven and I did not have enough material on one side to tie off. At this point, R decided that he’d had enough. I decided to leave things for another day and continued to watch videos and gather information.

The next day, after I went for a run, R came running up to me and just wanted to be held. I knew then that the timing was perfect. I grabbed the short wrap and VOILA! My first successful Ruck. He was totally happy back there as I had hubby snap some pictures of my success, checked the effort out in the mirror and continued to make adjustments. I was so proud at this moment. Apparently, I was told by my new Facebook support groups for baby wearing, this was pretty good for my third attempt. I think R and I were just happy that he didn’t end up on his head!!

I decided that I had pretty much mastered this carry and CLEARLY I was ready to do this in the crowded grocery store the next day. Things started out okay and once again, R was pretty happy to be on my back. I took my online advice and tried to get him up higher and the rails tighter, but, after about 15 minutes, I felt the shoulders slipping, and slipping, and slipping. By the end, the shoulders were nearly completely off and the “seat” under R’s bottom had shifted to the point of being nearly non-existant. Clearly, I still need more practice!

R and I in the grocery store... shoulder slip and all!

The Adventures of Born-Again Co-sleepers

So R has been sick all week and he is miserable. It started as croup and then migrated to his chest and nose... again. Thankfully our borrowed woven wraps arrived yesterday so we’ve begun adventures in wrapping, but this kid just wants to be held and cuddled and does not want to sleep. R has never really been known for his great sleep habits, but since the time change, he has been waking between 3:30-4:30am. He has maybe slept past 4:30am twice since the beginning of November. Add being sick to this and he was not only waking early, but also up a couple of times in the night. So, a good friend made a suggestion, and I quote,

"I was going to suggest giving co-sleeping another whirl but I didn't want to seem pushy... If he naps well while sleeping with someone than it makes sense that he may sleep well at night. Lots changes from 4-18 months and maybe he won't wake so easily.”

So, two nights ago, we decided to give it a whirl...

By the time we got R to sleep, he was positioned something like this.

As we started getting ready for bed, not washing faces or brushing teeth for fear of waking him,
Neil joined him on the bed.

Then hubby got in to bed... in his tux of course.

That left me with about a space just big enough for my head on my pillow and then I had to wrap my body around R and my legs around the cat. I believe I was only able to do so because of years of yoga.

Sadly, after about 1-2 hours of this, I started coughing and was waking R and so I took my leave and slept in the guest room until R woke up at around 3:30am. I then got up and made him a bottle and brought it to him in our bed. That’s when the magic happened: R went back to sleep until 5:45am!! HE SLEPT PAST 4:30AM!!! GLORY, HALLELUJAH!!

For night number two, we decided to do things a bit differently. We decided to put R down in his crib and see how long he could last there. We figured that would allow us to brush our teeth and get ready for bed, and keep him being able to at least sleep somewhat in his own room. R was able to sleep until about 10:30am on his own before waking. Hubby then prepared a bottle while I quickly brushed my teeth and got ready for bed. He brought R to me in our bed and we curled up for co-sleeping round 2.

Sorry it’s a bit blurry, it’s a nighttime iPhone pic, but things started out promising...

And then this happened. He ended up sleeping across my throat. I had to wait until he was in a deep enough sleep to pick him up and place him, vertical, between the two of us.

By about midnight, I had R lined up in the middle of the bed, head at the top of the bed and feet pointing down. Neil Catrick Harris was sleeping directly below his feet and hubby and I nearly had our normal amounts of bed real estate left. R woke up a couple of times in the night coughing and had to be soothed, but for the most part, he was out from midnight until 5:30am. After the previous nights of walking up and down the halls, swaying in his room, sitting by his crib and soothing him in the chair in his room for up to 2 hours in the middle of the night, midnight to 5:30am felt like a great sleep!! Looks like we might just have things figured out until we’re ready to introduce... the toddler bed!!

Help! My Child is Barking.

All bundled up in the cold air fighting croup

croup

¹  [kroop] 

noun, Pathology .

any condition of the larynx or trachea characterized by a hoarsecough and difficult breathing.

Origin: 
1755–65;  noun use of croup  to cry hoarsely (now dial.), blend ofcroak and whoop

(as cited by http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/croup?s=t )

Following back to back ear and chest infections and two rounds of antibiotics, which caused a few weeks of upset tummies and diaper rash, we thought we finally had a healthy baby and were ready to stop buying disposable diapers and break out our cloth again. New Year’s Eve was quiet and boring with hubby and I barely making it to midnight awake after an evening of PJs and movies and a full turkey dinner with all the fixin’s, cooked by hubby... yah, he’s a keeper. New Year’s day started out with a bang when R woke up at 2:00am and then at his usual 4:15am for the day. We spent most of New Year’s Day trading off on naps, like we spend most of our weekends. 

That night, R was up at 12:00am, 2:00am and 4:25am and when he was crying, his inhale had a squeak and he had a cough, one with that telltale noise you’re told about as a new mother and come to fear: a bark, like a barking seal. It was brutal. R has had chest infections and wet coughs and I have had numerous respiratory infections myself, as well bronchitis, but this cough was scary. I sat there with him, trying to administer his inhaler, trying to give him honey and warm goat milk, trying to cuddle and coddle and calm, and seriously considering driving him to the hospital. Each time, I managed to calm him and eventually get him back in the crib.

The next morning, I took him down to the clinic, where it was confirmed as croup and then I really learned what croup is. Croup is a virus that causes the throat and larynx to swell. Croup usually appears with other cold-like symptoms, but has a distinct barking cough, especially if the child is crying. Croup outbreaks occur most often during winter, are worse at night, and only affect children under the age of 5 because their throats are still so small and prone to swelling (Canadian Lung Association, http://www.lung.ca/diseases-maladies/a-z/croup-croup/index_e.php ). The thing the doctor told me that I didn’t know, was that there is no medicine at my house that could help R if it happened again. Homeopathic cough medicine, his prescribed inhaler, warm milk, honey, his hot air vaporizer... nothing. What’s more is, if the child continues to cough, and the situation worsens, their airway can swell to the point of not being able to breathe. This terrified me. Luckily, prescription steroids that can be swallowed or injected can temporarily reduce the swelling until the infection improves. But that requires an emergency trip to the doctor or emergency room.

One of my biggest fears as a new parent has been discovering potential allergies and the possibility of anaphylaxis. I used to be a ski patroller with level 3 first aid and I remember learning that their was virtually nothing you could do for anaphylaxis, aside from trying your best to keep the airway open, if an epi-pen wasn’t available. To think that if I had allowed R to cry and cough more, his airway could have become that swollen really hit home. The doctor told me then that if it happened again the next night, to bundle R up and take him outside. Cold air is one thing that can help to relax and open up the airway and prevent further swelling. Then, if that didn’t work, to pack up the car and go to the hospital for treatment. 

The following night, R woke up again at midnight and then at 1:30am and we were able to control his coughing by bundling him up and taking him outside for fresh air. Thankfully, it looked like we were not going to need to take him to the hospital. Getting him back to sleep on the other hand, that was a challenge. He finally ended up in our bed and drifted off to sleep at 3:45am, over 2 hours after waking. Hubby ended up getting pushed to the bottom of the bed, and eventually ended up on the floor next to the dog and her bed, but at least R was on the mend!!

A Getting to Know ME Post about 2012: The Year in Pictures

My year started with this, on Christmas morning 2011

My only picture with R, Daisy and Lilly before Lilly went missing

My first Mother’s Day... apparently our plates expired the night before...

My Bachelorette Party in Seattle

We bought R a tree, a Pink Dogwood. My grandmother had one, my mother had one & I have it tattooed on my arm.

Engagement photos courtesy of Justine Russo

I DO!! June 2nd 2012 at Heritage Park in Mission, BC. (pics by Justine Russo)

Our lil Ring Bear looking all handsome in his tux. He walked me down the aisle... like a CHAMP (carried by grandpa).

Family honeymoon to the Sunshine Coast in beautiful British Columbia.

Our 1st birthday present to R and newest member of the family, Neil Catrick Harris as featured in, The Day Our Free Kitten Became No Longer Free

GUESS WHO’S ONE YEAR OLD!!! June 30th 2012 at 9:36am! Arrrr, a pirate themed birfday!

In September, Mama Tench went back to work and back to school. I completed my MSc from University of Oregon a month before R was born, but returned to school for Pscy. 469: Assessment in Education.

For Thanksgiving 2012, we travelled to Vancouver Island.

Halloween 2012 was a wet, wet day on the West Coast, so we hit the mall!

Somebody began practicing the art of tantrums late in the fall of 2012 and had the skill mastered by Christmas!

And R was not the biggest fan of the man in red this year!

We finished the 2012 by going for a family walk after watching some World Junior Hockey